Cut the Ending Revise the Script The 'Man' of her Dreams is a Girl
by societysnerd
Summary: "Cut the ending. Revise the script. The man of her dreams is a girl." ― Julie Anne Peters Maura's getting married but it's to the wrong person. Will she realise it before it's too late? One-shot. (I suck at summaries)


**I've had this in my head for a while now and thought I'd put words to 'paper'. I hope you like it. :)**

 **Mistakes are on me.**

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 _''I'm getting married.''_

 _Brown eyes stared back at her. There was the flicker of something before it disappeared completely, devoid of all emotion._

 _"I see. Congratulations." She ignored the lump that had taken residence in her throat. "So that means-"_

 _The blonde nodded. "Yes." She fiddled with her ring finger, it's presence devoid of a ring. "For Tom and I to stand any chance, whatever this- " she gestures between them, stumbling over her words. They're not going to make the pain she's inflicting any better. "I feel guilty enough already," she finishes lamely._

 _No matter the fact that they were sleeping together long before her fiance came into the picture, no matter the fact that she's been in the wrong from the get go, no matter what she says, she's still going to hurt the brunette; she's hurting herself. She should have put a stop to it months ago but having Jane was like needing air to breathe._

 _The detective had been nothing but respectful of her decision for wanting to keep quiet about their relationship when in reality, she had wanted to shout her love from the rooftops, but the past has a way of creeping up on you; the conversation between her aunt and her mother. She had been no more than five and in the city of love, sitting in a cafe by the river when two women had walked by, their arms around one another. The distaste was evident by the curling of her aunt's lip and the derision in her voice forever echoing "It's not right" before steely blue eyes focused on widened hazel, her words raining down like the slamming of a door. "Don't ever turn out like that, Maura. It's not becoming of our type." Little Maura simply nods in agreement, taking the force of the woman's nod of head and force behind her words to heart. She doesn't see the flash of fury that come from her mother's eyes nor the thinning of lips as she brings the cup to her mouth to bite back the remark that had been on the tip of her tongue._

 _"This is because I told you I loved you, isn't it?" Maura looks up equal parts confused and surprised that the brunette is no longer sitting in front of her. She adjusts her vision to where Jane stands by her bedroom window, fully clothed now, watching the rain as it pelts the land. It's fitting really. Given their conversation. The once loving, adoring, lustful nature of their lovemaking has been taken over by something deep and depressing; oppressive almost._

 _Because she doesn't want to be doing this._

 _She loves Jane._

 _Is in love with Jane._

 _Can't see anything else in her future BUT Jane._

 _And it makes her want to weep. The thought of coming home to her, sleeping beside her, being able to hold her, kiss her, make her let go of her fears, provide comfort, have children with the same deep brown unruly locks that she loves to run her fingers through; it overwhelms her._

 _"Tom loves me."_

 _"I love you."_

 _"He wants us to be a family."_

 _"You already have a family."_

 _"He wants to marry me."_

 _"We can go down to City Hall right now."_

 _To each reason, she has a counter-response. Swift and quick. Steadfast in her beliefs. Her fists clench and unclench each and every time._

 _She finally turns from the window and Maura gasps as she sees a thin face and brown orbs streaked and clouded with tears._

 _Maura digs her nails into unblemished skin, hard enough to draw blood, hard enough to make her say what she must._

 _"I- I can't." The doctor forces herself to look away._

 _She doesn't hear footsteps pad across the carpet, or the gentle closing of her bedroom door but when she finally gathers enough courage within herself to make contact with the woman she loves, she finds herself alone. As she settles back down in bed, huge sobs wracking her small frame, she wishes Jane had at least slammed the door because she deserves to feel her pain. Instead, all she's left with is this huge chasm and this bereft feeling that makes her never want to face the world again._

"Maura? Maura?"

She's loathe to snap her fingers in front of her daughter's face. It's rude and unbecoming of a lady, or at least that's what she was taught but she can't help but feel the necessity and effectiveness for it over the past months to the lead up to this day. With every mention of wedding plans, her daughter had spoken falteringly, uncertainly, hesitantly. Why, she could not be certain, but she had an inkling and that inkling involved a certain detective who hadn't replied to the RSVP she herself had secretly sent. When she had expressed surprise over her daughter's decision to not send an invitation, she had vaguely responded about the detective being busy that day. And that had been that with a swift change of subject.

Startled from her musings, Maura looked surprised to see Constance standing behind her; she'd forgotten she was in the room at all.

"I'm sorry, what did you say?"

"I asked if you wanted to wear your hair up or down," she says as she ran her fingers through honey blonde locks.

Down and brushed to the side, slightly curlier midway through, because that's how Jane likes it is on the tip of her tongue to say but she catches herself. She's not marrying Jane. She looks down to her hands and shrugs her shoulders.

"Whatever's easiest."

Now, Constance is definitely baffled. _Whatever's easiest?_ This coming from the woman who had planned her dream wedding from as soon as she had learned what the word meant. _Whatever's easiest?_ It was most perplexing.

"I'm sure you must have some idea, darling. You've always loved weddings." she inquires gently, trying to get her to give some indication.

She's alarmed by the sob that is released in the quiet room and immediately pulls over the nearest chair to sit herself next to her child and gather her in her arms. It only makes Maura cry harder. The tears run down her cheeks into the fabric of her dress and she tries desperately to stop them. But the more she tries, the harder they come and she finds herself clinging to her mother in the way she had wanted to when she was a child and just wanting some comfort.

Constance scoots herself closer, tightening her arms around the blonde whilst running a soothing hand through her hair. It's unfamiliar, this gesture. But Jane changed it all. Jane kicked her ass into gear and threw a few home truths at her and suddenly she finds herself playing the role she should have been playing since the time she was born but unwittingly failed at. Still. Better late than never.

Eventually, the sobs become mere hiccups and she draws Maura away from her so that she can look her in the eyes.

"Is this about Jane?"

Maura's bottom lip quivers.

Okay, so they were getting somewhere. It was a start at least.

"Is this because Jane didn't want to come?"

No response.

"Do you want me to call Jane? I'm sure I can find Angela and I can hold off the guests for another hour or so till you two sort whatever it is that's going on. Tom- "

"No!"

The degree of force behind the words take her aback. Yet it leaves her with nothing but curiosity. She takes a smaller palm in her own trying for a different approach.

"You know, before I met your father, my parents - your grandparents - were always on at me about finding a husband. I was young, naive," she gestures in the air with her free hand. "I believed in love; the type of love that send butterflies to your stomach, that makes you grin stupidly just thinking about them, share things with them that you'll never tell another soul - your hopes, dreams, desires - where you can be vulnerable in front of them and conversely, excited. Where colors seem brighter and more brilliant, where laughter becomes a part of your day, where you feel safe and secure and complete because the part of you, you thought was missing, slips into place. They told me to be practical. Choose someone with standing, with class. Someone safe. That stuff in fairy tales, does not exist. That sort of stuff should stay exactly where it belongs. Enclosed within books and myths and the stuff of legends. There's no such thing as soulmates, that one person you're destined to spend the rest of your life with."

Hazel eyes met her own, holding her gaze. They were rapt to attention, absorbing every word.

"What did you do?"

Constance smiled fondly. "I dated. A lot. And one day, my friend dragged me out to the amusement park. She was going with some of her boyfriend's friends and the man I was currently dating came along too."

Her child blinked uncomprehendingly.

"What? I know how to have fun you know?"

A faint blush rose on Maura's cheeks as Constance laughed.

"Anyway, I went along and one of the boys there would not stop hassling me. Always had something to say, used to pull my hair from behind, was unbearably and unfailingly logical in every discussion to the point where it used to get heated - for me, that is. Not him. No, he used to just stare at me calmly and reply which annoyed me even further. This happened every time we met."

"What happened then?"

Constance looked down at the palm she was currently caressing.

"He went off to join the army in the end," she replied, nonchalantly. "But every now and then, I found myself looking over my shoulder for him. Three years passed; by that time, I was already engaged."

"To father?"

Constance shook her head and laughed. "Oh goodness, no. But if you let me finish, you'll find out."

Maura nodded her consent.

"Anyway, one day, there's this knock at my door and this man standing in a soldier's uniform on the step, wringing his cap in his hands. It's none other than the boy I met at the amusement park. Well, you can imagine my shock, and that of my parents who were stood behind me. Seeing them, he sort of forced himself to stand a little taller, a little straighter, held his head up and said that he knew I was to be married - he'd read it in the paper - and that he knew he didn't have much to give but would I put my plans on hold and go on one date with him."

"What did you do," she whispered. She's in awe of this other side to the woman she grew up with.

It's here that Constance grins. A really big, broad smile that lights up her entire face.

"I said yes. And we've been together ever since."

She did not see that coming. Talk about a bombshell.

"You mean- that was- he was- "

"Yes," she confirms laughing at the expression on Maura's face. "Status and wealth be damned. My parents had no choice but to accept it. It was that or the threat of me divorcing whoever else I married."

"They obviously chose the better of the two."

"They did." She sobers up as she sees the thoughtful yet sad expression on Maura's face. "But most importantly, I didn't settle."

Maura fiddles with her engagement, feeling the weight of it, actual and metaphorical. It's large and ostentatious and totally not her, and every time she sees it, she can't help but compare it to the weight on her heart.

"I don't love, Tom."

Constance nods. "I know."

"I love Jane."

She knows that too but she remains quiet nonetheless letting her speak.

"I got scared," she admits. "I remembered Aunt Winifred once saying how wrong it was for two people of the same sex to get together, how much it's frowned upon within our circle. And then there was what I felt for Jane. It was overwhelming and profuse and intense. And I got scared."

Constance frowns at the words. She waves a non-committal hand in the hand as if dismissing her daughter's admission.

"My sister always did live in the dark ages," she comments.

She shifts uncomfortably in her dress, unable to recall why she chose it in the first place. It wasn't what she wanted. But then neither was this wedding or the man who was currently down waiting at the alter.

"I pushed her away."

"There's still time."

"She was willing to give me everything."

"You still can have everything."

"I made her keep us a secret."

"And now you can shout about her to the world."

"I want her, and only her."

"Then why are you still sitting here?"

 _..._

"Help me out of this dress."

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 **The End! You guys know where it all ends. I'm all smiles right now. And it's only taken me an hour and a half to furtively type during work. ;)**

 **Hope you're all having a good week ahead! :)**


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